Gash

News International have failed in their bid to take over the popular blog "Gash" after an emergency meeting of Gash staff. Phone hacking allegations have also been made against NI in the lead up to the meeting which was attended by all Gash reporters. The editor released this statement a short time ago, "Our small concern will never relinquish its right to be independant in the field of world media, scum-sucking bastards like Rupert Murdoch and his cohorts have no place in our forthright and honest publication. Murdoch, 80-odd, of colonial descent has a Nazi style obsession with controlling the worlds media going as far as attempting, (and failing), to buy the rights to the Rose Green WI monthly gazette last month. News International are fighting more phone hacking allegations regarding the Sunday celebrity rag "The news of the world", a paper only read by half-wits and celebrity obsessed imbeciles. This blog will not lower itself to even discuss the grotesque ...

Transvac Systems, a tin-pot tuppenny ha'penny firm based near Ford prison has released its two most skilled employees in a recent staff shake-up. However, a whiff of controversy surrounds their release by the fact that Transvac have retained some members of staff who, as it has been observed, are as much use as the chernobyl safety manager. The highly skilled and experienced men cannot be named for legal reasons. Howard Bland, 50, a time served pipe fitter and system trouble-shooter of anglo-scandinavian descent and David Whines, 47, an electro-mechanical marine engineer of Anglo-Saxon descent are now coming to terms with the current employment environment whilst at least 2 halfwits retain their positions earning film star wages. Mr Bland is reported to have already been head-hunted by a rival company but will be relaxing on a beach somewhere surrounded by women until he returns to work. Mr Whines is considering his options but in the meantime will spend time in his recording studi...