Public Furious To Discover British Gas Can Break Into Homes - Ted Maul Reports

The Taxpaying public were angry last night as a story broke illustrating the Gestapo style tactics employed by British Gas enabling them to break into homes. This is possible as they have "Statutory right of entry" into any home they choose on the grounds of safety or fraud. The story broke after an incident where a mans house was broken into during his absence to "retrieve their meter". The victim involved, Mr Clifton Tabernacle, 40-odd, of Anglo-Hebrew descent was interviewed shortly after the attrocity. "Bastards, bastards, bastards !" was his first statement regarding this breach of human rights. "They are a shower of bastards, all of them already, the next British Gas nazi who steps on my property will find themselves on the wrong end of a Spear & Jackson garden fork". Mr Tabernacle was clearly distressed by this outrage and continued his justified attack on this disruption to his other wise quiet life. "Bastards, bastards, bastards my life already ! I'll kill them all !" Research has discovered that Mr Tabernacle had niether a gas cooker or boiler, at that the acusations of fraud made by British Gas are, to be frank, laughable.