Eastern Europeans Flood Ford - Amos Applechurch Reports

Complaints are flooding into the Gash offices regarding the influx of more Eastern Europeans into Rudford industrial estate, whose grounds contain a selection of various tin-pot cowboy firms blagging their way through life while more worthy companys struggle. Two were interviewed at some time or other at one of the firms, Transvac Systems, a company specialising in the removal of shit, piss, vomit, sperm, jam-rags, surgical sharps and other assorted debris found in sewage tanks. Vladimir Analenema, 20 odd, and Pieter Suckoffski, 40 odd, both of Ukranian origin are very happy to be in England, "Best blowjob I ever had was an English girl.........She sucked my balls!" stated Mr Suckoffski whilst devouring a spicy sausage and spam bagette. He continued, "Even Catholic girls put out here and they are very clean, not like those Russian Orthodox slags back in the motherland". His work mate, Mr Analenema was quiet at first but soon revealed a little of himself. "Some weeks ago I took a girl from Littlehampton against a wall and against her will, I even stole her bike after which I now use to get to work in this stinking piss-hole". After the interview the two men left from work early in order to purchase more spicy sausage and spam, "I have had enough of this bullshit job for one day" Mr Suckoffski exclaimed, "I need to drink vodka and get laid, but this time try to avoid any charges of rape! Dozabachenia!".