Pagham Prostitutes Panic As Peter Sutcliffe Spotted In Local Pub - Ted Maul Reports
It seems that reports of the notorious serial killers death in 2020 may be premature and, alas, incorrect. Sutcliffe, 79, of Yorkshire descent, was seen in the Inglenook Hotel, slaking his thirst with a variety of real ales, (all top quality and well kept). This sighting has, of course, shocked the sex industry workers of both Nyetimber and Pagham. One local hooker known as "Shazza" was keen to vent her dismay at the situation, "I have lost a whole nights earnings because of that bastard, one minute I was twirling my fake leopard skin handbag whilst standing provocatively outside the Bear car park, next thing I knew all the other girls staggered past me telling me to get off the streets as it was no longer safe". Top local Pimp "Smooth Daddy Kong" also gave us his opinion, "Yo Dude, hows ma hoes gonna turn tricks with this Mutha hanging on ma track!".
Peter Sutcliffe
"Its Hammer Time"
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