Church Hall Jumble Sale Scuffle - Report By The Rabbi Jacob Carnoustie

Folk from St Ninians church hall were still clearing the debris last night after a jumble sale erupted into full scale ugly violence. The incident occurred after two ladies both staked a claim for a matching snood and poncho. After a garment related tug of war, the two ladies fell onto the floor when the snood finally gave way. One of the ladies, Doris Pickles, 90 odd, of Anglo-Burgundian descent is no stranger to this publication. She was responsible for hiding the Hitler diaries in Rose Green and also providing him with cakes, scones and other assorted sundries during his brief stay there in 1938. The other lady, Florence Delgado, 80 odd, of Spanish and Native American descent has a well documented past of table top sale shenanigans including the theft of a M&S cardigan from a jumble sale in the village hall last Easter. The two feuding pensioners were finally separated by the Rev’d Mark Eminson. They then left but on their way managed to knock over two tables of assorted woollen garments. 



 St Ninians

Pictured in calmer times.

 

 

 

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