Comrade Gordon Howbrook Buys A Round - Reg Costello Reports

Inglenook regulars were stunned last week as "Comrade" Gordon Howbrook broke into his money belt and finally bought a round of drinks. Mr Howbrook, 60 or even 70 odd, of Anglo-Saxon descent is a retired wainwright and part time cordwainer who indulges in many hobbies and pastimes. He was, for a time, a travelling hangman in Spain and when not “Dangling Dagos” he used to earn money rubbing peanut butter into his chest whilst dancing to “Death Trip” by Iggy & The Stooges. He was, unfortunately, asked to leave Peru after an ill fated attempt to sell winklepickers and/or brogues to the Inca. Mr Howbrook has settled in the area after a scandal in Weston Super Mare in which he was accused of menacing Brigantine Nuns with stolen shrimp nets wearing a leopard skin mankini, thigh length leather boots and sporting a poorly made sombrero worn at a jaunty angle. Mr Howbrooks preferred colour for garden furniture upholstery is magenta and his favourite karaoke song is “No Body Does It Better”. He can be found most Wednesday evenings in the Inglenook hotel conducting monologues, juggling live hamsters whilst riding a unicycle and offering advice on French horn polishing techniques.


Comrade Gordon

Bay Estate
Champagne Socialist
 

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