Gay Bishop Challenges Choir To Wanking Competition- Rabbi Jacob Carnoustie Reports

New God-squad appointee, Canon Jeffrey John has started his life as prospective Bishop by challenging the choir of Tossbury cathedral to a wanking competition. Canon John, 30-odd, of ecclesiastical descent, has spent most of his life in a “fart or turd” dilemma which can be very
embarrassing if a punter is trying to enter you. C of E bigwigs will meet at this years general synod and one of the items on the agenda will be whether or not to televise the competition. This could see television ratings soar as we are treated to the “Cuddly” Cannon pulling himself off live and uncut. Canon John will have to be at his best to beat alto - soprano Justin Simkins, known to his friends as "two jerks and a squirt" Justin.